Thursday, May 16, 2013

My horrifying bug saga

Ok, so I suppose the use of "horrifying" may be a bit overboard, BUT non the less....I'm using it :-) A few things before I start my story.  One, I'm afraid of bugs.  I've gotten better over the years, but they still totally creep me out.  Second, we live in the South.  Bugs in the South are bigger, and yuckier, and meaner, and...well you get the idea.  We have these horrid bugs, called....(trying to drum up the drama here)....roaches.  Yes, I realize those things live pretty much every where, but they are gross, gross, gross. 

So we had a situation one day when we were outside and saw a slew of ants climbing up the outside foundation of the house, in the direction of our living quarters.  Suspicious of fire ants, Jeremiah decided to spray them.  He figured he should just spray the whole foundation, all around the house.  This poses a problem if you are not using an odorless spray....the bugs want to get away from the toxin, but can't get out, so they come IN.  This is bad, very bad.  We haven't seen a roach in months and months, and then we have 3 in 3 days.  Too many.  When my "too many" stands at Zero, anything above that is bad :-) 

One night I was hanging out, chatting with Isabella when I spot that familiar shape of the dreaded roach beastie across the way in the kitchen.  It is crawling above the cupboards.  I have Isabella go wake Jeremiah (we were up late, chatting) to kill the horrid critter.  If it was in an easier space to access I would have vacuumed it up.  But alas it was not so.  Jeremiah comes out, but by then the critter moved behind some stuff we have hanging out on top of the cupboards. Jeremiah couldn't find it.  So to make sure we would 'get' him, he sprayed some odorless lethal toxic spray on each side of the wall where the disgusting beastie would have to crawl.  I waited for some time to see if he would come out of hiding.  I waited, and waited.  But it was late, and I was tired.  I went to brush my teeth, came back, looked around...nothing.  I went to bed.  However, I realized I forgot to take my allergy pill. I was almost going to ask Jeremiah get up to get me one.  That creepy crawly was still out there, somewhere.  But he had already gotten up to try to kill it, and I'm the one who forgot to take my pill, not him.  So I crawled out of bed.  I slowly walk up to the kitchen, looking up down and all around.  I was more afraid of it being on the ceiling or on the floor at this point.  No sign of him.  I go to unlock the medicine cabinet, and as I was doing so gave a quick glance down since I am standing in an area where a creepy crawly could come out and I wouldn't have too many places to go to.  But then, THEN, ***SOMETHING***hit my arm.  MY ARM.  The horrid, creepy crawly, all too big, roach dude had been on the medicine cabinet door, and fell on MY arm.  It TOUCHED me.  Not only that, but the creepy dude was in a state of neuro death, so he could move but wasn't too with it.  So in it's stupor, instead of scooting away from me and taking to the safety of the lower cupboard, it starts running TOWARDS ME!  I almost fell over backwards trying to get away.  Yeah, go ahead, laugh.  After a few feet of coming "after" me, it gets a clue and turns around and runs the other way. 

Of course I was screaming, and jumping up and down by now.  I managed to wake up half the household.  No joke.  Isabella and Jeremiah said they knew what had happened when they heard me screaming :-)  Not the specifics, but they knew it was the bug.  Hmmm, imagine that!

So there you have it.  My creepy crawly story.  Now, to see if I can find that spider the kids were talking about spotting in my closet this afternoon.  I don't exactly treasure the idea of cozying up to a spider come bed time.  No thank you, I'll pass.  Though I think it is funny that I would take a spider over a roach any day!  And to think, when I was growing up, I used to look under my bed, in my closet, behind my drawers, etc. for spiders before going to bed.  Every. Single. Night.  I was terrified of spiders when I was young.  Oh, to wish that spiders were all I had to worry about!


Sarah Faith said...

Once, I was sleeping, and felt something on my face, and it was one of those huge flying roaches. I SCREAMED and jumped up and started jumping and swatting at myself. It was so nasty. My husband woke up and told me I was crazy, big deal, it's just a bug, etc. I had a really hard time falling back to sleep. A few minutes later, it landed on HIM! And then he shouted "ahhh!" and jumped up and killed it! LOL. That was sweet payback. :) But ichhhhhhh!

The Southern Peach-Girls said...

Oh. My. Goodness. Sarah, that is sooooo far worse than my experience. I feel for you :-) I have to say one of my first, of many, questions to God will be, "Why roaches?" Why? Shudder. Ok, now I think I will buy a huge bug net for our bed and make it so that the bed is totally encased, with a zipper access. Bugs clearly do not get the 'personal space' thing, do they? Ha, ha!


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