Thursday, November 13, 2008

My lack of posts

I'm still here. I've just been busy lately. We've had appointments, a bonfire, park days, errands, etc. There seem to be a million things going on around here. Jeremiah and I have been having a lot of discussion about the children and their discipline and education. There are so many things tied in together that it is hard to know where one thing ends and another begins. For a time you will see less of me here. In order to seek answers to some pressing questions we have to address some of the issues and direction that we need to go in with the girls I will be fasting from the computer. For me fasting from food is not a big deal. And with nursing I didn't want to attempt it. However the computer does have a hold on me, so I wanted to give it up to focus on crying out on behalf of my children. My goal will be to write in my real live paper journal :-) and then on Saturdays to come on here and catch you up on things that are happening. My goal is to dive into God's word, to pray, pray and pray some more. Not only do I have things to call out to God about my children but about myself as well. In the last couple of months I've just been feeling uncertain about where I stand before the Lord. His word says to test ourselves. And I've been doing that with some hesitation. Right now it is a bit hard to explain. I just know what the Bible says is the mark of a Christian and that my life does not seem to match up to well with that. There are just some very elemental things like.....yelling at my children, that has me concerned. No, we will never be perfect. I do believe that the Lord did not die for us so that we would continue on in our same manner. I know there has been change in my life, but there are also some very deep seated issues that have remained. And one thing I know is that the Bible is clear about anger. So I just really need to call out to the Lord to show me what I need to be doing. My anger IS affecting my children. It IS affecting my marriage. And that is for certain. The Lord died to forgive us our sins, and when we ask for forgiveness we are to also repent of our sins. Repent means to make a 180 degree turn. To turn totally away from it. I can't say I've repented if EVERY day I am yelling at my children. I know I have said that I have forgiven my husband for past things, but I am NOT living like I have. And these are concerns of mine, as they should be. So between my concerns and the pressing needs of our children I will be offline during the week, and check in here on Saturdays. Do pray for our family if you are led. I would appreciate that.

In Jedidiah news....I talked to the homeopathic doctor today. I want to be very excited about what he had to say, and I am, at the same time I'm nervous that this may be another dead end. However since no one before has had a single clue as to what may be going on with him, the fact that he seems to have an idea AND that he has remedies for this has made me a bit hopeful. He has also cured other children who were 3 to 6 years (!) behind in growth and they are now at a normal height and weight. This has been a very long road. I have to say I need to be thankful that in perspective and relative to what other people may have gone through it really has not been that long. But at the same time, for almost two years we have known that something has been wrong but have not been able to figure out what. The major factor he believes is contributing to Jed's situation is mercury. The other is the allergy meds that I took while pregnant with him. So we will be doing remedies to purge his body of those things. Quite a few of his symptoms (teeth grinding, sensitivities with his mouth, the profuse sweating and the supposed milk allergy) he believes are from mercury toxicity. We will see what happens. We should be getting some of the remedies in the mail very soon and will start on the immediately. He told me though to not expect an overnight change, as homeopathy takes time to work. At least in these cases of purging the body of the toxins. He had some very interesting things to say about systemic yeast. He does believe Jed has that, HOWEVER, yeast is not the problem. He believes that the body is using the yeast as a defense mechanism. He says that the body is using the yeast to get rid of the mercury. I'm too tired to go into it all right now. But it is fascinating. So to get rid of the yeast would not be good as his body would try to resort to some other means to rid his body of the toxins. If we get rid of the toxins we will get rid of the yeast. I'm very worn out emotionally from all of this. The highs, the lows, the waiting.....I really want to be done with this. If it was me suffering from something that would be one thing, but for it to be with my child....I'm just not so patient. But I really don;t have a choice now do I? :-) I'll make sure to tell you all how he makes out with this. I really can't wait for the day that I can post a picture of a healthy Jedidiah! Oh, the thought just makes my heart jump!

Have a wonderful night. I am going to post a separate post with just pictures and captions. I would love to blog about it all, I just don't have the time right now. Enjoy.

2 comments:

Henley said...

hi Kerri,
I've been checking your blog and was excited this morning to find an update! However, I'm sorry things seem "bleak" I guess is the best word for it. You are a wonderful mom - do not beat yourself up. You are doing a wonderful job and, I'm sure, the demands of dealing with a newborn plus Jed's issues just leads you to be frustrated with the girls. I'm sure that is totally normal! Take care of yourself. Try not to beat yourself up. You are only one person and are super mom, super wife, super Child of God - you can't do it all perfectly and 100 percent of the time.
I'm glad you have some other things to try for Jed too! Good luck and please keep us updated. Love to Jed, Jonah and the girls. And of course - lots of prayers for you and your family!

Bethany W. said...

Kerri,
This computer fast sounds like a good idea! I am so excited to see what changes occur in your life because of this! I will be praying for you in your Christian walk and for Jed's health.
Bethany

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