Bumps in the road

Wow, what a slack blogger I have been!  It's certainly not because there is nothing to write about, but that I just haven't had the energy to write.  It seems I am hitting yet another bump in the road, which is putting me behind in all areas of life.  This bump came during the same week that my older two were volunteering at Runner's Camp.  Two oldest out + mom out of commission = disaster.

This started last week when we had to make a detour on our GAPS diet.  Finances have grown tight, too tight to keep fully on GAPS.  I had some extra food that I try to keep on hand, but I had to use those up, and when those were gone and the reality that my shopping budget was not going to handle our regular food, well something had to give. So for the time being we have added in rice, potatoes, and oats.  We are still sticking with all the other GAPS regulations, except those three.  This has really helped to stretch our food!  BUT, since I had run out of my probiotic two weeks ago, AND with raging pregnancy hormones, these foods have induced a fungal (yeast) sinus infection.  From my experience with the short viral we had a few weeks ago, when I am sick the magnesium I am using no longer goes to fight my nausea and heart racing issue...oh, and the fatigue issue. 

This meant that everyday this week I have taken a 2.5 to 3 hour nap, and am STILL falling on my face.  I have been feeling so, so, so nauseous, which is not a feeling that remains only in my tummy, but where my head even feels like it is nauseous (how is that possible?).  It has taken all my effort to just get up and make some food so that the kiddos don't starve :-)  My house is a wreck.  And I do mean it is a WRECK!!!  Laundry?  What's that? Dishes?...have to be washed every time we need something because every dish in the house is dirty. Don't get me wrong, I've been making the kids to dishes, but they can't stay on top of them.  This has been very discouraging. It was discouraging because at first I didn't know why I was feeling this way (my sinus infections do not present themselves like a normal sinus infection would).  But a few days in I started getting clues.  By the time I realized what was going on I didn't have a lick of energy to do anything about it.  Totally catch 22.

Thankfully, I got a small break, that being Jeremiah being home!  So today I made up a sinus wash with a bit of hydrogen peroxide in it.  Ah!  In just one day I am getting somewhere.  All week long my 24 hour allergy relief (yes, I have to take an allergy pill, which I HATE, but at this point it can not be avoided) would stop working early afternoon (around 11 or noon) when it should have lasted until 9 PM.  This morning I used the sinus wash and this afternoon, no exploding head!!  Yay!  I've done another wash this afternoon and was actually able to stand up for about 15 minutes to clean off the stove top.  I had to sit down afterwards, BUT at least I didn't fall asleep!  Now it's almost 8 pm and most of my nausea has subsided (it has been going ALL day even when I am trying to go to bed at night!). 

This has been such a roller coaster of a ride!  I am praying for a break from any illness so that I can try to get on top of the magnesium deficiency.  It takes 1 to 3 months of constant use for the body to catch up.  I just received my order for my probiotics.  They are almost 3 times stronger than the ones I was taking, and I am taking 2 of them right now.  I don't know if they are helping.  Too much going on with my body to tell.  All I know is that I am REALLY done with the excessive bloating in my tummy!  There is no reason to look 4 months pregnant when I'm not!  But it is all bloat!  Oy.

BUT despite ALL of this, I still hold to my firm belief that children are a gift from God.  There are soooo many things in life that are wonderful and good, BUT that are hard work.  I've gotten a couple of comments that have kind of sounded that possibly this should be the last since this has been so hard on me.  But I got to thinking how hard homeschooling can be.  I mean by golly, do you realize how many hours I give up to homeschool my children?  Or how many tears I've faced during my teaching (theirs AND mine).  But regardless of how hard it can be, I still believe it is in the best interest of my children, and I persevere.  And homesteading?  Are you kidding?  Chickens tearing up the garden, bratty goats to deal with, foxes or vermin coming in and killing or stealing, the list goes on!  BUT, it is good for us to gain these lost arts and to pass them on to our children.  It is good to be working hard on the land, and to realize how much we really truly need the Lord in these endeavors!  Of course we need Him no matter what we are or are not doing, but it becomes even more evident when you are faced with drought, or vermin, or your own bratty goats tipping over the milking pail so that all 3/4 gallon of milk is wasted.  Phew.  And so it is with raising children.  I mean, talk about time consuming :-)  Hard work, tears, sweat, worry, time, sacrifice.  And we do it all to the glory of the Lord.  Well, we try to!  I fail miserably....every. day.  And so it is with this pregnancy.  It is hard.  Many times I ask myself...why?  Will I ever feel normal again?  Will I get in shape enough, and eat healthy enough, and pray hard for as long as I need to so that I might be successful with another homebirth?  But in the end, we will be blessed.  Blessed with what GOD has determined is a blessing, a child made in His image.  And that makes all the hard work, all the nausea, all the fatigue, worth it. 

Just don't bring this up while I'm on the couch ready to puke ;-)  Ha, ha! 

So, if I go missing for a stretch please do send up a prayer, because chances are I'm stuck in a funk.

Praying for some normal days to catch up on work around here.  All in time for next week when the oldest 5 will be at runners camp!