Friday, February 18, 2011

Hope and frustration

I know I get a wee bit unstable after a baby is born.  With the hormone plummet, it leaves me weepy and sometimes depressed (aka the baby blues).  This time around things have been much better, but not entirely free from the weepies and blues. I can be really excited about something and the next hour be totally depressed. That can be so frustrating.  I am trying to constantly remind myself that God is the same God this hour as He was last hour.  It can be hard, and frustrating. 

For example the article I linked up to the other day from S.M. Davis.  Wow, great article.  It was pretty much everything we needed to hear in a nutshell.  I also read most of the other article mentioned in his article, "Freedom from the Spirit of Anger".  Something I really, really need to get victory over.  It is imperative if we are going to see changes in the children.  These articles have given me a lot of hope.  We've been slowly losing our children, the olders in particular.  It has been heart breaking to witness, and I hate the hopeless feelings when I haven't known how to address it.  Jeremiah has read the first article and agrees with everything Davis says.  We have briefly discussed it, but this sort of thing will take some serious consideration and careful planning.  The danger is making a great start, seeing changes and then WE revert back to old ways.  That will be more damaging than what we are seeing now.  So this is not something to take lightly or without a plan!  So there is hope, and I am glad for it.

On the other hand I get so frustrated with the myriad of things that pop up whenever we start to make headway.  They can usually be lumped into a few groups.  The children getting sick, things around the house breaking down with great speed and multiple items at a time, or fears of the future.  Right now we are on the mend from a cold.  I can only pray we stay healthy.  Very soon we plan on making some repairs around here, so I can also only pray that the money we are setting aside will be for that and not to take care of other things breaking down.  For example I would really like to have screens on my back windows.  We've already had a few flies in here!!  I hate flies!  Grr...So the first two things haven't (at least not yet) materialized.  But the third is rearing its head.  Again, these are the three areas that ALWAYS come up when we are trying to make gainful strides in our family (whether marriage or parenting related).  It never fails.  If our family is in total chaos then there is peace in the rest of the world.  Yes, I know that's not really true, but it seems like it!  And, yes, I know I am not supposed to worry about tomorrow, but I do.  It's hard to know what to do, or think sometimes.  There is huge talk, at least in some circles, of economic collapse, of the US going down, of....x,y,z.  We are told to prepare.  I hear it from my dad, I read about it, or hear others talking about it.  Prepare.  Well we've taken step to become more self sufficient, BUT we are SOOOOOOO far from being self sufficient it's scary to think of any of these scenarios coming to fruition.  Have gold on hand, make sure to have plenty of ammo, stock up a years worth of food, be totally self sufficient for all your needs.....ugh. I know I can only do what I can do, but sometimes I don't want to keep thinking about "preparing".  And why oh why are some of these things not avoidable.  Government is getting too big for it's britches, and we are told to 'prepare'.  I don't want to prepare, I want to know how to stop the government from growing any bigger.  I know of people who have left the country, thinking it will be safer else where.  One family didn't even tell anyone, NO one, of where they were going, just the country they would be in!  Wow, that is extreme!!!  And I'm known for being extreme :-)  That takes the cake.  I want to be level headed.  But when I look down at Aubrey I have this huge mommy bear well up in me!  Don't mess with my family! 

Alrighty, that is where I am right now.  Check back in another hour and I may be all giddy some minuscule thing, that's how these mood swings work!  Ha, ha!  I haven't taken any pictures recently.  I've been very busy with baby sleep training. I put a post together on that topic that I will share next week.  I've been very busy with that.  It;s taken a lot of my time!  but we are seeing progress. Speaking of baby, I hear that he is awake.  Gotta go.

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