dissapointment

I suppose the word 'dissapointment' is another one of those words that mask what is really happening, and that would be sin.  Being disappointed means not being thankful for God's provision and His ways.  It means that we thought we deserved something more or better.  I had to think upon those things last night as it was a very disappointing day for me.  In multiple ways.

The one way that threw me over the top was Isabella's meeting she was having the other night.  This past summer she had attended the "Do Hard Things" book study.  She was motivated to step out to do something, she just didn't know what.  Well last month we received the World Vision catalog in the mail.  It is a catalog of items (seeds, animals, water filters, etc.) that you can buy and send to a needy family in a needy country.  She thought it would be great to gather some teens together to raise money for this organization.  We have since decided that we should work with the areas our church is working with so that we would be of one mind, and working with the body we are apart of.  During this time Isabella made up a name for the group and sent out invitations for the first meeting.  I knew that it being so close to Christmas might limit the number of people who would come, but she was much too impatient to wait :-)  What I wasn't counting on was that NO ONE would even RSVP to her invite!!  But she said she talked to some of the people and they said they were going to try to make it.  So we got ready, just in case.  She made up a punch and had chips and dip ready.  NO ONE showed up.  She was extremely upset and I must say so was I.  I was hurting more because she was hurting.  It led to some discussion on friendships and such.  I'm not sure she was very open to it all at the time, I'll have to try again later.  I told her we would try again after the holidays.  What made it worse was that she sent out some twenty or thirty invites.  That's a WHOLE LOT of people that didn't RSVP!!  I mean I could see if she invited two or three, you could imagine you just hit two or three people who forgot, or didn't bother to rsvp, but over twenty?  Disappointing to say the least.

But this incident followed on the tails of another incident that made my heart ache for Isabella.  We were at a get together recently.  I noticed she wasn't talking to anyone.  I asked her why, and she said it's because she has no friends.  Ouch.  At the end of the get together I saw her talking with a couple of girls.  I was hoping that she was getting to know them.  Well, apparently it was just another time to showcase just how 'different' we are from most people.  One of the girls had some electronic/techie device.  She never saw one before and asked her what it was.  Well all three girls were in shock that she didn't know what it was, I mean, everyone knows what this thing is.  I don't know what it was as she couldn't remember the name of it now.  So she just told them that we don't have a lot of electronic/techie stuff at our house.  To which I think they thought that was sad or horrible.  I don't really remember how it all went now, but it really just made our 'differences' stand out all the more.  Isabella is having a hard time with all of it.  I can't say I blame her, but it is hard to see her being pulled by the world.  She doesn't like standing out from the crowd.  It is hard to get her to see that we have her best interests at heart.  I've been praying for just one or two really good friends for her (one's that share our convictions). 

Other disappointments for the day were that my battle with the nastie buggies of pregnancy is not over.  Ugh!  I am sooooo not happy with that.  The time is ticking.  I'm on day seven now of the no carb diet.  It is going well as could be, but it is still hard.  I had no energy yesterday evening and I really don't have time not to have energy at this point of the game.  I have things I need to get done.  My room is still a mess, I still have to sterilize the bags of towels and stuff, plus I still have some more things I want to cook up to put in the freezer.  I am about to get behind in having food on hand for my no carb diet as well.  I have to cook some chickens up today or I will be in trouble.  Plus the baby, well the baby is STILL NOT cooperating and getting into position.  When the baby kicks, instead of enjoying these last few weeks of kicks I am just getting more and more angry and fearful because the kicks are hitting me where they are not supposed to due to the baby's malposition.  Argh. 

And lastly....the dreaded tummy bug.  Both Moira and Saoirse were up with it last night.  I got no sleep.  Ok, maybe ten and fifteen minutes here and there.  When they finally did get to sleep I was up with my tossing and turning, which was made worse by Saoirse being at the end of our bed. Plus Jonah woke up twice and then there are the bathroom trips that I needed to make.  Let's just say that we will not be going to church today.  Not that I could anyways as Moira and Saoirse are still sick.  Moira is on the getting better end of things, but Saoirse is still needing to throw up.  Moira is just very dehydrated and weak.  But thankfully she is over the throwing up.  I have mentioned before that Moira is the last person you want to get the tummy bug.  Although she has gotten better over the years it is still torture for everyone around her when she is sick to her stomach.  She used to scream, literally scream, in pain whenever she got a tummy bug.  It was so bad you thought she needed to go to the hospital!  She doesn't scream anymore, but it is still pretty dramatic.  Now I am praying the boys don't get it.  If that happens that would mean puke everywhere!!  I really can't handle that right now.  Not to mention it would be very bad if I got it! 

Well I'm sorry for the depressing post.  But sometimes life doesn't go smoothly.  I am praying for better days.  I had just walked through my room and it is overwhelming all that needs to be done.  Not to mention the extra laundry and sanitizing of buckets that needs to happen.  Yuck.